It took me awhile to consider myself an expatriate. My initial plan was to au pair for one year and get back on the life track I always grew up with: high school, university, career, marriage, children. Germany had different plans for me though, and now that I'm going on three years with no true plans of leaving, I think it's safe to say I'm an expat. Since I did not actually plan on expatriation, there are definitely some things I would have done more or differently.
HifX contacted me asking for one piece of advice for expats for their expat tips page (see here). Oh man, I have lots of tips, like porting your number on Google Voice, but that did not seem to fit the bill for everyone. Here is what I ended up contributing:
Don't be shy. Introduce yourself, ask questions, walk in and ask if they're hiring, consult other expats and locals, and do not jump at the first opportunities you see: whether it's a bank account, cell phone deal, or apartment rental, talk to others who already learned the hard way so you do not have to.
Be a Yes (Wo)Man
Yes, I want to go to this meet up. Yes, I want to learn the language. Yes, I will go salsa dancing with you even though I hate that idea. Moving to a new country is a chance to "abroaden" your horizons (see what I did there). There will be plenty of offers for things you would NEVER consider doing in your home country, but this is how you will experience a new culture and make new friends. Put yourself out there. Embrace the changes and opportunities.
Oktoberfest is probably the easiest YES! of all.
Do Not Jump into Commitments
Following my contributed piece of advice, it's best to do your research. Yes, you need a bank account, a cell phone, furniture, but shop around. Do not just walk into Vodafone because you've heard of it; it may have poor signals in your city. Do not just go to IKEA; there could be upcoming flea markets (or heck, heavy trash day in German is a gold mine). Things like furniture, bank accounts, cell phone contracts, train cards, and health insurance are a pain in the ass to change and can cost you unnecessary money. Talk to locals and expats who've been around the block or two before you dive into a commitment.
Embrace the Blogosphere
This goes hand-in-hand with my previous point, but do your research. You do not have to join the blogosphere to utilize it. Every traveler dreams of insider tips and bloggers are insiders spilling the beans left and write (there, I did it again). Find experts on living in your country and fellow travelers who've already done what you are set out to do. Within the blogosphere lies loads of valuable advice, you just need to know where to look.
Travel
Places that were merely far off lands that you'd have time and money to visit when you retired are now at your doorstep. For me moving to Europe, my vacation time increased and budget airlines made other countries wallet-friendly. A 2.5 hour travel weekend trip to the river in Texas became a jaunt to Portugal. How could I not take advantage?
Side Note: Find out which local deal sites are available. The sites are probably written in the local language, but you can discover some killer vacation packages. Ask other travelers where they find travel specials.
Just your average day as an expat (ha, not at all)
Expats Are Your Friends
I know it's easy to move to a new country and think that you only want make friends with locals. No one wants to be THAT expat or THAT tourist. Listen here, you're starting a new life. This is your chance to not give a crap what other think and do what feels right. There's some things that only your fellow expats can understand and there are some things you can only experience knowing locals. Find a happy balance of friends and keep making new ones. The tough thing about expat life is watching people come and go. Cherish your time and don't shut yourself off from new relationships.
It Ain't Always Pretty
Expat life is tough. Things that were once mindless tasks, like depositing money at the bank or buying steaks, become overwhelming. Don't even get started on things that are already difficult in the US, like repairs and taxes. Then there's the things you've never had to deal with, like staying in touch in different time zones and just thinking about visas makes me sick. Life is hard no matter where you are, so do not let these things bog you down. Try and enjoy the challenges you face every day and learn from your mistakes.
What advice would you give someone before moving to another country?
39 comments
I can't stress enough how important research, reaching out and remembering to breathe are when you're moving abroad! I moved to Spain before Facebook groups, when expat forums were unkempt and when even the Internet was a fleeting concept now. That makes me both proud of making the decision and also kick myself at how much easies it could have been!
ReplyDeleteBeing a yes man is such a great and true point! It can be hard to put yourself out there but saying yes to new things opens so many doors, and thats why I am abroad in the first place for more adventures!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with this, especially about being a "yes" (wo)man and embracing the blogosphere! Both of these are vital in networking that you need to make up for by starting fresh somewhere new.
ReplyDeleteOh Alex, those puns are almost Jan-wirthy. Groan. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI need more expat friends. Most of my friends are Germans... not really locals though. I know exactly one person who actually comes from Karlsruhe! (And one from Bretten, which is close enough, I guess). I've actually been in Karlsruhe longer than some of my German friends!
Your last point is so true and yet people can be really hush-hush about it, so I'm so glad to see you write it. There seems to almost be this shame sometimes about feeling overwhelmed in expat life, like everything should just miraculously be easy, but such is NOT life!
ReplyDeleteAlso love the advice about not just seizing the first opportunity you get. I definitely was a bit like that when I first moved to NL, eager to just get things done ASAP and also thinking that it was an act of the gods that a phone company would even consider my foreign business. I signed some pretty questionable contracts. No more!! We may be expats but we can still be and SHOULD be discerning!
Saying 'yes' can be so hard but it really does pay off! And I agree, heavy trash day is the best ;) :D
ReplyDeleteif i ever move abroad (finger crossed) the first person I would go to is you. such great advice!
ReplyDeleteI hope one day I can move to a different country to experience it for a few years. I think it's such a fantastic experience. These are great tips to keep in mind if that opportunity ever arises.
ReplyDeleteI'll say it - I think you've got it all figured out. Aside from these (awesome) points, the other thing I might add is disconnecting with life back 'home'. Not just dropping friendships, but realizing that staying in the loop on trivial things from the place you left isn't going to help anything in the new place you've arrived.
ReplyDeleteYou are like an expat ninja!
ReplyDeleteYou surely are my go to expert here!
ReplyDelete"abroaden" -- ba dum chhh!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously -- bloggers are the best! Every time I go somewhere new I immediately try to hook up with a blogger to have a great point of reference!
I hope to refer to this post one day!
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you about being a "Yes" person while living abroad. There were a few things I was unsure about trying (food, trips, etc), but ultimately, very few people in the world get to live in another country, it's your duty to live it up! In addition to befriending expats, I joined an expat FB group when I lived in Copenhagen... it was so helpful!
ReplyDeleteThat is SO true! I do stay very in the TV trivial loop, but I realize I've never heard of any popular movies or new songs, celebrity drama, etc.
ReplyDeleteBesides my au pair family and the people I met through them, I don't know anyone actually from Karlsruhe either. There's a new girl starting at the pub that is though :)
ReplyDeleteEspecially in the blog world, I think it can become very difficult when the bad arises and easy to brush it under the happy blog facade. If only it were that easy in real life...
ReplyDeleteExactly. Before moving abroad it's easy to think you'll be trying all these new things, but harder to actually act upon it sometimes!
ReplyDeleteOh I don't even want to know how much money I've wasted and pain I've caused myself... I guess it's better we just keep making things easier rather than reflect upon it sometimes.
ReplyDeleteFirst advice would probably be "read the blogs of people from your country who are already there". I did, and it was so very helpful in letting me know about at least some of the things I would encounter. Second: know why you're doing this. If it's to explore a different part of the world (our reason mostly), then keep that in mind. It's a little too easy, especially at first, to kind of just "hunker down" and live the day to day because everything is so challenging. If your plan is to travel, make a budget and a plan for how you're going to accomplish that and check in with it now and then to see how you're doing with that. Third: lighten up. Life's going to be a lot less on autopilot than you're used to. Be easy on yourself with mistakes, because you're going to make them. Be easy on the natives for what seems like rudeness or whatever...you may simply not understand what's going on. Really, you're here to learn, so open your mind and let some of that childlike wonder help you out. Nice post, I enjoyed what you had to say as well as that of the other commentators!
ReplyDeleteWow, #2 is such a great point, it is so important to remember why you moved abroad in the first place! And oh man, lightening up is INSANELY crucial. Thanks for all of your input Jay.
ReplyDeleteI'll need this if Germany is our next duty station! You will be the biggest help ;)
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more with this. Especially the saying yes part. I came with my husband so it was easy to do our own thing but I had to force myself to get out there and make new friends! So I said yes to every opportunity that came our way!
ReplyDeleteJen@www.healthyglobetrotting.com
My advice is to not believe everything you hear, especially from other new expats. The ridiculous gossip that I heard my first year from other first years is hilarious to look back on. I thought my dirt poor Palestinian boyfriend was a filthy rich local. I was convinced that all people driving pick up trucks were locals. I assumed the hooker circle in my parking lot would move somewhere else to keep from getting in trouble. I thought there were no drugs here. I thought it would never rain. I thought winter would be two weeks long.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up several great points about also being wary and fact checking! Oh how sometimes we expats just have to learn the hard way.
ReplyDeletejust stumbled upon your blog because i'm thinking about becoming an au-pair, and your advice has been so extremely helpful!
ReplyDeleteSo great to hear, Sarah!
ReplyDeleteAll so true!
ReplyDeleteGreat post - but now I miss being an expat! :()
ReplyDeleteSome advice I wish I'd been told in advance... Taking a few home comforts will aid transition so much. I remember missing the little things... My favorite framed picture of the family... My comfy blankie... Some vegetarian food that seem to be impossible to find in certain countries!
Thanks for the info which I'm sure will help when I'm an expat again!
Selina @ http://www.mightytravels.com
Btw I'm following you on Twitter - hope to connect sometime!
You changed your blog!! I am loving it!
ReplyDeleteLe Thank You. There's a chance of moving to Swiss next year, so tips like these help! I'm already googling, "US Citizen moving to Swiss" and downloading German language apps hahaha.
ReplyDeleteLove the new blog name!
ReplyDeletewell, hello shiny new blog - you're so pretty! great list.
ReplyDelete[…] Things every expat should know before moving abroad by Speaking Denglish: Do you plan to live in another country for at least a while? Take Alex advice into consideration! […]
ReplyDelete[…] By fellow German expat Alex changed her whole blog name and design this week and it’s looking lovely! Check out her things that people should know before moving abroad. […]
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, I definitely agree with the first one. I've met way too expats who get to a new country and (inexplicably) keep holding on to their customs and habits without letting one inch of the new culture in...
ReplyDeleteI love your clear and present writing style; refreshing - and you are funny too! I am sending your "advice to expats" to my favorite Granddaughter. She is leaving GST (Great State of Texas) for law school in The Oregon Hinterlands to prepare for career in "animal rights" law. Expat advice ('spesly language differences) seems relevant, huh?
ReplyDeleteThis is great :). Even though I am moving abroad to South Korea I still find your blog and writing very relevant. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeletehahaha going from Texas to just about anywhere requires some expat advice ;) Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDelete